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New NISSAN PATROL review at a glance:
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Advantages: Pulls more than Calum Best, takes every natural surface in its considerable stride, chasm-like interior space, good value for money, will out see an Ice Age.

Disadvantages: Parts can be pricey, takes a while – and a lot of straight road – to build up a head of steam, struggles with man-made surfaces, engine vocal at all times, no side airbags in base model.

Summary: The car of choice for UN peace keeping envoys, the Nissan Patrol is no stranger to war-torn landscapes around the globe, which in itself serves as the ultimate advert for the legendary Japanese off-roader, which – along with Toyota and Mitsubishi – took 4X4 ownership a long way from the earnest appeal of the Land Rover. The 4x4 man's 4x4, as opposed to the thinking man’s.

New NISSAN PATROL Review:
Overview - With robust exterior styling by Fisher-Price, the bruise sustaining 3.0-litre turbo-charged diesel savored by the Nissan Patrol is a workmanlike off-roader that does exactly what it alludes to on the tin.

Bereft of snazzy off-road enhancements and new-fangled terminology to kid drivers, the Patrol remains a resolutely image-free 4X4 in this nauseating age of perceived ‘lifestyle’ activities, with its gritty honesty applauded by the hill farming community as much – if not more – than those launching off board-motor boats up and down coastline of the UK. Models include the 3.0-litre DI Trek, priced around £24,395 and the 3.0-litre DI Aventura automatic, which kicks off for £28,395 or thereabouts.

Both models support a largely unbreakable engine, but then mobilizing well over two tonnes of 4x4 the need is pressing. That said, the fruits of the Patrol’s labour is clear for drivers to witness and never leaves a job unfinished.

Nissan has been churning out ground-breaking (literally) Patrols since the Battle of Hastings, a genuine, do anything-anywhere off-roader that offers way more mud-cred than street-cred. The go anywhere attitude having previously taken in the far reaches of the hostile Sahara and the demanding extremities of the Arctic. Undaunted by any territory, the Nissan Patrol would make a mockery of the earth’s core, drive through erupting volcanoes and ocean floors and scale K2 if politely asked.

Although if we were to criticize anything, we note that the Patrol had a spot of trouble with wallowy steering at Sainsbury’s, suggesting that it can take any amount of rough yet the smooth sometimes confuses it.

In fact – and rather bizarrely - in suburbia Patrol drivers feel just about every cat’s eye as if it’s the whole damn feline that it’s further imprinting on the tarmac surface. The body rolls into and out of corners more than it ought to as well.

‘What wind/road noise?’ Patrol drivers may gleefully question, yet that might have more to do with the summoning of the noise gods from beneath the bonnet than actual in-car aural solutions, which manage to talk over any third party element.

The four-cylinder 3.0-litre diesel engines stir up more fuss than the six-cylinder engines found by the Patrol's rivals – hence the hullabaloo - and for all that the ride quality overlooks refinement in every conceivable way, its unashamed workhorse roots and valued attributes don’t overshadow creature comforts once inside the cabin area. Height-adjustable seats and steering afford the driver the perfect vistas, whilst air-con, electric windows, twin front airbags, ABS and CD player keep the occupants stress free too.

However opt for Aventura and it’s goodbye Blackpool, hello Las Vegas as you’re greeted with a myriad of flashy lights, sounds and things to prod and poke. Cumbersome-fashioned, fuddy-duddy buttons and dials mainly, but at least you know what you're pressing and what’s going to happen next. i.e., they work. Privacy glass, fog lamps, ‘leccy sunshine roof, front side airbags, climate, sat-nav and electrically-operated and heated leather seats have that desired effect you see.

Elsewhere, and all the occupants’ personal effects, important belongings, re-location luggage and most worldly possessions can be carried by the big, grafting Patrol thanks to split-folding rear seats across all versions; that when in the up position can easily accommodate seven.

All in all you get a lot of Nissan Patrol in exchange for a chunk of your hard earned, although be aware that both models are pretty heavy drinkers - thirsty work towing a trawler in your wake - averaging 26mpg. And if you’re hoping to keep the environmentalists quiet, think again. The Patrol’s CO2 emissions aren’t anything to write home about and truth be told make for better reading in several competitors’ models.

On a bright note though the Patrol’s residuals are usually good, as those-in-the-know who wish for something of a more agricultural stance are willing to pay up for something they can rely on in the second hand market; seeing the Patrol’s as more of a long-term investment. So much so that most old Patrols are quite literally run into the ground (fertile soil or salt-encrusted sand) once retired from suburban duty. Which is more than can be said for Toyota Landcruiser, Land Rover Discovery and Jeep Grand Cherokee contemporaries at the end of the day.

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